T(r)oy's Marbles

The past three days have been packed with activity.

Monday: I brought the kids home and took Nic to see his speech therapist, leaving the house just 15 minutes later. We returned home at about 6:30 and then I spent an hour with Nic working on his homework. Shortly after that: bed.

Tuesday: I brought the kids home and arranged some things for a meeting I was having later that night. Just under one hour after arriving home from the kids' school I was out the door, headed out to Alcala for a new community group we're starting out there. I got home later that night and the kids were already in bed. Heather told me that Meaghan came out of her room while I was gone and told her that she missed me. Heather added: "She doesn't like going to bed when you're gone."

Wednesday: I brought the kids home from school and Nic left 15 minutes later for another speech therapy session. This time Heather took him because I stayed at home to meet with one of our community group leaders for about an hour and a half. So, a little before 6, Simon came over and he left at about 20 after seven. That left just enough time to see Meaghan and Nic for about 30 minutes, at which time they had to go to bed.

During these past three days I've seen this look on Meaghan's face. It's the look that says, "I miss you, Dad." It's the kind of look that just stops my heart in its tracks.

To be sure, while I was meeting with Simon yesterday, he and I were out on the balcony and Meaghan was just around the corner in our office, playing on the computer. But, even though we were there together in the house all that time, it wasn't the same; what she wanted was some focused attention, some play time. And, she just "knew" I couldn't give it to her because I had "meetings".

So, with that, she tried compensating a little bit: every so often she'd poke her head out the doors that lead from the office to the balcony to say little things of no consequence just so she could see me lock eyes with her if even for 20 seconds only.

At that point, I wanted nothing more than to turn to Simon and say, "Um, Simon: I want to take some time to invest in you right now, but I'd really rather just have some time with my daughter. So, could we please make this 90 minute session more like 20 minutes?"

These are times when it's hard being a church planter. You know that your job requires certain time commitments (and, in particular, that you follow through on your commitments to mentor/disciple people), but you also know that sometimes those commitments come at the expense of your own family.

And it just breaks my heart, thinking that, the past 3 days I've had very little time to just pay attention to Meaghan. It makes me sad to think that she's had to find ways to cope, to keep herself occupied and entertained without the love and care of her Daddy.

So, today, when I get the kids from school, I'm gonna do some good old fashioned playing and wrestling and joking and loving. And, hopefully, Meaghan's spirits will brighten because of it. God knows it'll do my heart good.

journal | Comments (1) | September 27, 2007

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Posted by: The Mama at September 27, 2007 04:28 PM

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